We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
