Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
