id be glad to
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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