Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
