Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
