I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
