I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
