you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
