When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
