i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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