I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
