Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
