Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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