I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
