you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
