You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
