so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
