worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
