the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
