just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
