why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I could make wine with my vomit
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize