u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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