We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
