How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
where are you?
Hypothermia
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize