dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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