i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
