I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This can only be settled by a dance off.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
