You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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