dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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