You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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