She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
