The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
