Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
