I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
