she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
