well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you made out with another girl for some wings
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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