Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize