Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
