Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
