i permit you to call me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
