i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
