I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do vagina's smell?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
