Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize