her vagine was all disorganized.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
