Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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