people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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