How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
