bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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