My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
