I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
