i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
