Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
