I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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