Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
