I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
