she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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