Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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