so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
