Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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