my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
