He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
