You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
