Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
