I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize