I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
